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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s okay to grieve for another child you won’t have even if you already have three.  I get it.

I agree that the only opinion that matters, besides yours, is your husband’s.  He has the right to veto.  [b]Unlike some other posters I also think OP has the right to ask for further discussion. [/b] And this is highly individual: some people really can change their minds.  Others never will, and that is their right.[/quote]

He does not want to be a father or parent to another child. Talking someone into parenting a child just sounds like a highly risky idea.

What does this discussion look like? Why should he reconsider parenting a special needs child, or twins?

[/quote]

A lot of people change their minds.  My spouse did (not about #4, but I don’t think that matters).

In a relationship, both partners have needs and desires and they matter.  If you have a burning desire to move back to your hometown, or take a job that would relocate your family…. That’s something you would discuss.  No one is obligated to do what their partner wants, but I think being willing to hear the other person out (and in many cases, walking through the thought experiment) is part of the commitment you make when you marry or otherwise commit to someone.

Of course no one should be pressured to have a child they don’t want to have.  I don’t think completely dismissing the partner who does want a child is a recipe for a happy marriage, either.  Sure, that partner might reasonably “lose” the argument, but happy well adjusted couples talk about things openly and compassionately.[/quote]

Adding: sometimes the way this conversation goes is “what would it take for you to consider….”?

Maybe it’s nothing, I would never.  But that’s not always the case.[/quote]

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