Reply to Family themed costumes. Yay or nay?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of times these costumes are clearly orchestrated entirely by the mom, you can tell the dad is wearing what he has been instructed to wear regardless of his feelings or opinions on the matter, and the theme has been chosen in large part to enable mom to wear what she wants.

Examples:

Mom is Cruella Deville, kids are Dalmatian puppies, dad is some character no one remembers the name wearing a distinctive hat.

Mom is Maleficent, kids are sleeping beauty and the prince, dad is in full makeup and carrying an oval picture frame as "the mirror."

Mom is Dorothy, kids are munchkins, dad is either the cowardly lion or the tin man.

Mom is Snow White, kids are dwarves, dad is the prince.

And on and on. I see these every year. Even when they are well executed, all I can think is that the family must get so tired of their lives revolving around mom's instagram plans.[/quote]

This is funny, because the family I know who does this the best has two dads. They aren't on instagram, they just like Halloween.  I think you are imagining dynamics that aren't there.

[b]Honestly, if my spouse went to the trouble of figuring out what the kids wanted to be, and then making or sourcing coordinating costumes, I'd be happy to wear whatever spouse wanted.[/b]

[/quote]

I think this is the expected attitude of a lot of men in heterosexual marriages. Mom puts weeks of effort into figuring out a family costume and sourcing everything, and dad is supposed to just put on his assigned costume. And then it's like a badge of honor, like it's a mark of a good husband and dad to put on his silly costume.

But I actually think this is weird and that it should be okay for dad to choose not to dress up or for any family member to decide they dont' want to do a family costume. I don't think being a good spouse should mean that you are required to wear a costume because Halloween is super important to your spouse but not you.[/quote]

I mean obviously they can decide not to wear a costume.

But agreeing to do something minor bc it's important to your spouse is actually pretty common. [/quote]

I feel like people would have very different attitudes about this if it was the dad assigning costumes and trying to get his wife to wear something she didn't want to wear. But somehow it's fine the other way around.

If my husband picked out a costume and was like "here wear this", I'd do it if I actually liked it and would feel comfortable in it. But that's it. No way would I wear something embarrassing, uncomfortable, awkward, etc. I love my husband and my kids but I also love myself and I don't feel like I need to sacrifice my own comfort in that way. I also don't think my family would want me to be uncomfortable or embarrassed all night just to make a cute photo.[/quote]

i posted above-- but obviously my husband is part of choosing the costume theme and vetos 95% of my ideas.... no way is he wearing something he doesn't like or having us put our baby/toddler in something he doesn't approve of.  [/quote]

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