Reply to How would you handle a family member incapable of understanding that your feelings differ from theirs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I have a family member who projects her feelings onto others.[/b] I have seen this trait in her for years and have mostly distanced myself and ignored it. For instance, when her dad died, she took it extremely hard, so she assumed I was feeling the same when my dad passed. I wasn't. I loved my dad, but [b]I have experienced death enough to know how to manage emotions, grieve, and move on. [u]However, she can't accept that as normal.[/u] [/b]She sends scriptures, "thinking of you" messages on his birthday and death anniversary, and makes assumptions despite my telling her how I feel.

I am furloughed, and she sent a grocery gift card saying," I sent this because I know you will say you are okay, even when you aren't." It annoyed me more than anything, because I am financially and otherwise okay. She could have benefited a charity with her giving rather than me. I promptly donated it.

On the surface, her ways seem loving. However, I don't think they come from a place of goodwill; more like wanting to see/find something wrong. I am very limited with what I share with most people, so her actions come across as prying to see what will stick.

Should I continue ignoring her, or once again tell her I am fine? I am a strong, self-reliant person, and this seems to bother her. [/quote]

Oh, the irony.[/quote]

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