Reply to How to get kid to care about grades? Are there local places that give rewards for good grades?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is it better for Krispy Kreme to care about her grades than you? It's still external motivation. What she ultimately needs is internal motivation, which comes from struggling and deciding what's important to you. I'd play the long game here.

I got almost perfect grades and always checked my work, but actually learning anything was optional because only grades mattered. This didn't serve me w.r.t. struggles in the adult world.

Checking work is extremely hard for some kids. Yes, ADHD plays a role sometimes. I don't help my child at home because it becomes a criticism whether I intend it to or not. I genuinely can't relate to not understanding things or not wanting to check my work, so it's not helpful. I get tutors if needed.

Now my kid is in middle school and advocates for herself and asks the teacher for extra help during or after school. They also note a lot of peers can't or don't do these things for themselves. I really believe they need to get there from their own motivation, but admittedly part of why I'm this way is I'm reacting to my own experience with school in the process.[/quote]

It's better for Krispy Kreme to care about her grades than us because she's really sensitive and I don't want to give her the impression that if she gets Bs rather than As she's disappointing her parents, which I think she will if we reward her for As (even if we try to make the distinction between Bs that come from trying her best vs Bs that are a result of not being careful.)  Casually telling her that some place will give her some reward for better grades doesn't have that downside.  Yes, I would love for her to have internal motivation and hope it will develop eventually.  I just thought that maybe in the meantime there might be another option.

Making her correct her quizzes and tests at home has some promise so she realizes that she'll have to put in the extra effort one way or another-- I wish I had been doing that sooner, need to figure out some way to introduce it out of nowhere that doesn't feel punitive [/quote]

You tell her that you appreciate the work that she is doing but you need to review her work with her since there are mistakes that she needs to correct in order to properly learn the material. You know it will take some time to start but that time will diminish as she gets in the habit of reviewing her work. It is important to you that she understands the material as well as possible because it will make school easier as she gets older.

It is a matter of wanting her to learn the material as well as she can. Lots of praise as she does the wor, emphasize how she is picking up the material. When you review work that has fewer mistakes be proud of her and point to how much free time she has sicne she is making fewer mistakes at school.
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