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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, you don’t need to talk to the therapist. I would tell her she’s doing great and sometimes things like that happen and don’t take it personally.

The most important thing you can do is work on regulating your own emotions and not being codependent or enmeshed in hers. [/quote]

I'm not codependent or enmeshed. I'm trying to determine if there is anything I can do to help. We want our kid to be happy and it's extremely difficult when they are not. I know I need to regulate myself but that is beyond the scope of my question.

I've already done as you suggest in the first part of your post. But, it's honestly exhausting.[/quote]

I've been there. It's definitely exhausting!

The key is to remember it's completely normal for kids to feel both happy and unhappy in the same week. Or in the same day. Same for us parents.

Sometimes they feel on top of the world, like they're in the mix of things and exactly where they want to be. And sometimes they feel like the only one who is lonely, worried, stressed, sad, disappointed etc. Same for us as adults.

My guess is you're mostly hearing from her during her highs and lows - the peaks and valleys of what is a normal roller coaster of feelings in this situation. You're not hearing about all the times she's just hanging out in the middle, doing fine.

As parents, our job is to ride the waves alongside them, without taking on their feelings. Again, I know how HARD this is. I myself flip flop between worrying about my DC and feeling like they're doing fine - my feelings on it ebb and flow, often within the same day. It's normal. The key is to recognize the normalcy and just ride the waves.

Finally, though your DD's lows sound stressful for everyone, remember two things: (1) she has a therapist to help her learn not to overreact to or catastrophize about the low feelings (something we could all use help with from time to time); and (2) she hasn't gotten completely stuck in the low feelings - she's had times when she's been able to feel the happy feelings, too. So that's great!

Hang in there and trust that this is a completely normal part of freshman year. Many (!) kids experience mood swings like this. Some express them to their parents, friends, therapist etc., while some swallow them and keep them to themselves. Either way, part of young adulthood is learning that all feelings are ok - temporary unhappiness (loneliness, sadness, anxiety/worry, frustration etc.) is not a sign that something is "wrong". They're a normal and ok part of life, too. [/quote]

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