Reply to Do you feel attractive still but your spouse has no interest in you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess shallow people attract shallow people. If all you care about is that he / she is a 9, then find someone else for whom that is also all that matters. And stick to hook ups rather than relationships. Why marry if looks are all the matters? Just find someone who doesn't care about anything except how hot you are and will fawn over your looks.

Most people care about personality and values and integrity and beliefs and attitudes and responsibilities and how people treat others when looking for a spouse and being an 8 or a 9 doesn't really do much beyond getting your foot in the door and finding someone to have sex with you even if you aren't a good or nice person.[/quote]

Putting too much emphasis on your looks and wanting your partner to find you attractive, are two totally separate things. Part of enjoying sex is knowing that my husband desires me. I don’t feel like he does. We still do have sex, but he has become such a beta and it doesn’t feel like he “wants” me. If he were an old boyfriend, this would be my time to break up with him, but it’s more complicated in a 20+ year marriage. So, it’s not so much about my ego, but about my sex life (which then relates to my ego, but is not exactly the same thing). Having an active, strong, sex life is important to me, and I thought it was important to him, but apparently I was wrong…that is just not possible in this situation.[/quote]

You are calling him a beta so it doesn't really seem like you desire him that much or appreciate him either.  That isn't a term that says my guy is so attractive to me and I let him know it every day. [/quote]

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