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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP - with regard to dementia, it's a little bit trickier.  You don't say whether your mom is able to care give for you dad, but I assume she is part of the mix.  If so, maybe you keep them in their home and hire aides to give your mom a break but you don't need 24/7 care.  In this case, it's probably less expensive to keep them in their home for now.  As you dad's memory issues increase, the need for constant supervision will increase, and it will get harder and more expensive.  In my case grandma accidentally poisoned grandpa and the was the precipitating event to move them to the memory care unit.

It depends on how demential presents itself in your dad - is he childlike and easily steered, or is he volatile and potentially abusive?  If it's the former, easier to keep him home for longer.

The benefit of moving them sooner is that you might be able to find a continuum of care place that will take them at the independent level now, and then he will be guaranteed a spot in memory care one he truly needs it, and in the mean time, your mom (assuming she is healthier) will be able to make friends and be less isolated.  In this case, you would still need to hire aides to give her a break but she would be the adult in charge.

A big question is are they open to moving?  Is your mom asking for more support?  In my case, parents were dead set against leaving their home - freedom and independence more important to them than safety.

Regardless of what you do in the short term, definitely visit places and have a few you like in your back pocket so when there is a catastrophic event that makes moving inevitable you aren't starting from scratch.

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