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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tread lightly here, because once you start seeing these patterns you will want to start standing up and defending yourself and your kid. That risks escalating the abuse because your DH will interpret this as a personal attack.

Seek your own therapy first to help you process the emotions this discovery is uncovering and offer some tips for changing your communication based on this new awareness. [/quote]

OP here: I was shocked when the videos I watched on DARVO said to not confront and couples counseling wouldn't work. Seems bleak.[/quote]

OP I was you a year ago. This same thing happened to me and I did bring his attention to it. Things got worse for a little while (more fights, push back as it says online it will at first) but now he seems be be maturing more. Most men are immature emotionally and need help learning to grow (if you want to bother staying he will need to grow up) if you throw your hands up and give up you can leave. It all depends on how much you want to save the relationship. I also think you need to read books on codependence which often goes hand in hand.

Make sure are always standing up for yourself, pay attention to your emotions, speak up calmly not in anger with him. Once he sees you growing and changing it will help him too. Men have pride and won't often change but the good ones will grow if you try and help them and have some patience. [/quote]

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