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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I woke up early to start working on a stock to make a family soup recipe. I bought the bones last night. Started cooking them today in a huge pot. I use a specific method for the stock, which is a bit time intensive, but it makes for a good, clean and milky delicious broth, with meat that falls off the bone. It was pretty much finished, after about 3 hours total of boiling/simmering.

I had to run out for an errand, and when I returned, I was shocked to see that my husband had thrown out the entire pot of stock. Hours of work out the window. I gasped and said “why did you throw out my stock?!”

He basically rolled his eyes and said I was overreacting and said my reaction was completely inappropriate. That I was acting like he killed somebody. Which made me even more upset.  He said I was the one who left it unattended, and how was he was he to know that he wasn’t supposed to throw it out.

I said I was mad because I’d been working on it all morning and then for him to throw it out and then turn it around and blame me for it was really what made it a lot worse.

He said I was acting as if he did it to intentionally hurt or harm me, and that he didn’t want to argue about it, and that he’d talk to me about my communication issues when I was able to be rational and calm about it.

Everything he was saying was making me feel crazy.  I feel destabilized. Why am I the villain in this?

What is happening here? [/quote]

A few things are happening here: One, you are downplaying your reaction so as not to give readers support for your spouse's position. Two, your spouse is immature af and a poor communicator, who could've texted to ask but decided to dump food. Three, you also suck at communicating, and could've just as easily told your family what you were doing, that it mattered to you, not to dump it, etc. Four, you both suck at conflict, get defensive, start blaming, and work to win, not work to solve the problem(s) together.

Five, you brought your messy circus nonsense to DCUM looking for "support" instead of figuring this out like an adult and working on your part of it (and you absolutely have a part in it). You want to hear how bad HE is, and you will, but he's not the part you control.

Stop the villain/victim framing and really own your part. If he still acts like a clown instead of owning his, well, that's informative. Maybe y'all need to work on that. Maybe he's not worth working with. But you have to look at what you did, and the way you wrote this is manipulative as hell, which strongly suggests you're not even trying to own your part.[/quote]

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