Reply to Moms who are out of the young kids phase

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[quote=Anonymous]I mommytracked. Kept working and earning. But lost career momentum and mentors due to corporate reorgs and general economic chaos that always hit my industry hard (2009-10 recession, political turmoil, Covid, etc.).

Because I mommytracked, my kids went to aftercare programs for their entire childhood until Covid.  They didn't like aftercare much. On the other hand, there aren't any kids in our townhouse neighborhood, so that's how they got to play with childhood friends after school.

I guess what I can say is that I saw some impacts of my choice to keep working (like the aftercare dislike situation).  But my 2 kids have turned out okay (19 and 16 right now).  If anything, choosing a less optimal (lower-rated) school district seems to have had a bigger negative impact on the kids.  But that was balanced by how fun our town was to raise kids in.  We know our elected officials personally, it has tons of amenities, and it is a nice place to grow up.  The schools just aren't as rigorous as they could be.  And local people can't understand that, because they have little experience of other places.

With all the economic chaos, and having seen highly-educated friends struggle to find jobs when laid off, I think it was the right choice to keep working.

My female manager has 4 kids.  And I've seen other female executives who've been able to juggle 3-4 (undoubtedly with the help of other carers).  I feel like I see others for whom it's possible to balance more kids with a job.  But can't speak to that personally.  One of the more senior executives described her view of being a working mom as a juggle where you know which balls will break and which balls will bounce. Does that resonate with you?

I think part of the decision depends on the individual kids.  I've raised my kids to be reasonably independent. And they have personalities that feel very intuitive (similar to other family members).  So my spouse and I have felt okay about our parenting decisions because we check in with the kids and they know they can express unhappiness with some of our parenting decisions but they believe, as I do, that women should be able to work if they want to be in the workforce.  Whether that's shared values or brainwashing depends on perspective.  They're both boys, so I hope their future partners will appreciate that I raised them to be supportive of the aspirations of the key people in their lives.

I guess the bottom line from my mommytracking decision is that I can live with myself.  I don't feel like I missed out on anything important, my kids love me, and I believe they are living up to their potential with only normal hiccups along the way. [/quote]

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