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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think therapy can work, but you need the right therapist and possibly you need to set boundaries.

If your daughter keeps coming up with reasons for treating you poorly, perhaps ask the therapist what this might accomplish in terms of moving forward.

I agree with others in that therapists sometimes does not seem to recognize family obligations other than parent to child.  [b]Children have obligations to their parents as well, it's a two-way street.[/b][/quote]

:roll:  :roll:  :roll:

Sounds exactly like what an abusive parent would say. No, your kids do NOT have any obligations to you. You choose to have them! [/quote]

PP you are replying to.  Curious about your perspective here.  Are you a parent yourself?  Was your parent abusive?
Nothing in OP's statement makes me think they are abusive, they are in therapy with their adult daughter, it sounds like the daughter keeps coming up with different ways she is dissatisfied with her upbringing.  That's a common thing for young adults to do, it doesn't necessarily indicate abuse.[/quote]

I have kids myself, and my father was abusive and controlling. He repeatedly utilized the phrase that "his children have permanent obligations to him for raising, clothing, and feeding them." I won't go into what obligations he expected out of us, but they were things that completely rid my sister and I of our autonomy (besides the usual go to school, be polite, do your chores). I am trying very hard to not repeat the cycle of abuse. I'm always wary of parents who say that their kids "have obligations to them" for raising and feeding them as a child. [/quote]

I think you may be sensitive to the word "obligations" because of how it was used in your upbringing.  But the way I see it, it's reciprocal like any other relationship.  We have a duty to show up for family and treat each other respectfully.  OP is showing up for her daughter by going to therapy, but she doesn't need to be a doormat and accept all blame for her daughter's current problems, that's not doing anyone any good.[/quote]

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