Reply to Crush is ruining my brain

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Reply to "Crush is ruining my brain"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the OP.
I forgot to add an important thing I think?

I tend to crush on someone who is very kind.
Does this mean I have low self esteem?[/quote]

Self-discipline cures a LOT of things. Recognize the crush for the unsustainable situation it is. Acknowledge your feelings. Explore what might actually meet your needs (validation, kind treatment) without blowing up your career/marriage/integrity.

An easy place to start would be more conscious language. It's not "ruining your brain". It's taking too much time and resources. One of these framings creates a victim situation where there's nothing you can do about it. The other focuses on a problem you have agency to solve. If this reframing is difficult for you, you might benefit from CBT/DBT and the help of a competent therapist so you're not fighting your default wiring over things you know aren't good for you.

You don't have to demonize the crush to get rid of it, and I agree with PPs upthread who said that may have the opposite effect. [/quote]

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