Reply to Is there any scenario where it's not okay for male/female friends to hang out when they are in relationships?

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Reply to "Is there any scenario where it's not okay for male/female friends to hang out when they are in relationships?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know the  standard is " if you don't trust them why are you in a relationship with them?: which broadly I agree with.

But I still come back to why do you need to go on these one on one hang outs with them? Movies? Dinner? coffee etc?

Why are you okay of giving the appearance of being a couple to outside observers?[/quote]

To answer your first question - because you want to see them. I have gone out to dinner with my old boss (who is 20 years my senior) for the last 10 years every time we are in the same city. We have been mistaken for a couple before, possibly because we're both wearing wedding rings and we have an easy rapport and will sometimes share a dessert, but in a million years it would never occur to my husband to put a stop to those dinners.

Another answer - because you both want to do the same thing. I play pickleball, go to the pool, eat/get coffee, walk dogs, and got to the movies with male friends without my husband because either he's busy or away or didn't want to do the activity. He knows about it all, and I don't know why it would bother him. It's not like we're making out in the theater or restaurant.

To answer your second question - I don't really care what outside observers think. I'm not kissing them, holding hands, or generally touching them at all except hugs when arriving/departing. If someone wants to think we're a couple, no skin off my back. I've had a bit of a flirty personality and some of my friends are the same. It's fun but harmless.

To answer your title question - I think it's not ok for them to hang out when there is something between then. I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I thought something could happen (i.e. at someone's house, drinking late into the night, etc.). But people aren't exactly having sex at dinner so I can't see why you couldn't hang out with a friend in public. [/quote]

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