Reply to How to handle family funeral while in the process of of converting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You've got to be a troll.

Since you weren't receiving communion anyway, all you need to do is show up, go through the motions, and not receive communion.

This is what I do when I go to Catholic services with my European maternal family, who is Catholic.

My father and my in-laws are Asian Buddhists (different denominations). I've attend funeral services for my FIL, BIL and purification rituals and such like, and I go through the motions politely like the civilized person I am.

I'm not understand the problem here.

[/quote]

OP here. Gosh, my eyes couldn't be rolling harder than after reading your troll accusation. As if I wasn't already upset over the death of my toddler niece, you come in here with your rudeness.

My parents are very devout and often use the fact that I am no longer Catholic against me and guilt trip me a lot.

I know they will use this tragic event as a reason to harass me.

But beside that, above all, I don't want to upset my sister.

So I am asking for suggestions on [b]how to communicate the fact that I won't be taking communion.[/b]

But thanks for your unhelpful response.[/quote]

Sigh. Get your act together, OP. I'm the PP you replied to.

You don't communicate. You go and do everything except communion and you don't need to announce it, or explain it, or defend it. If you can't understand that you cannot say anything because this a child's funeral and no drama must be instigated by you, then I don't know what to tell you. If your parents harass you at a child's funeral, it's on THEIR head, not yours. You do not have to talk to them at all. You are there to support the child's parents. Not your parents. You will tolerate your parents' presence for the sake of the child. It's an act of love and sacrifice. Otherwise, in other circumstances, you could get up and leave as soon as your mother started on you and your "heathen ways".

Get it now? I'm giving you tough love because you have a long road ahead of you in terms of navigating your family of origin and your religious practices. I had a very good friend who converted to Islam - his family was Jewish! To say it led to drama is the understatement of the century. His father threw him out and his older brother beat him up. So I know what courage it takes and how thick a skin you need to develop when you're in such a situation. This funeral is just one of the first hurdles you will need to overcome on your trajectory.

You need to show up for the sake of your sister and child. You don't owe your parents anything, you just need to not be the one to start a fight. As soon as it's socially acceptable for you to leave, you can leave. I bet your mother will be lying in wait for you.

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