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[quote=Anonymous]I totally agree with the pp that said inlaws often have the same characteristics our spouses have that bother us but we tolerate them as part of the whole package of the person we love.

In my case, and I would bet many, I find that my inlaws are the CAUSE of a lot of DH's characteristics I "tolerate." I actually have a good relationship with DH's parents and they are local so we see them a TON. I get infuriated when they undo everything I've been working on with DH.

He comes from a "Costanza" style home. I don't tolerate that level of bickering and belittling, especially in front of our kids. What do MIL and FIL do as soon a they walk in the door? Commence bickering! And not just with each other. They will bicker with DH, bicker on the same side of an argument about BIL who isn't even there, etc. I hate that DH's family dynamic has led him to believe it's ok to expose kids to that, and we've been working so hard on it. We see inlaws often enough that their constant bickering and nastiness with each other makes me think I shouldn't even bother.

I have been tirelessly trying to get DH to be less helpless with me. What does MIL do as soon as she walks in the door? "Oh don't get up! Let me get you something to eat..." (Never for me, as I'm dealing with 2 young kids and getting dinner ready for everyone...just for DH who shouldn't be troubled to get off the sofa.)

Equal sharing of parenting responsibilities has been a battle with DH and I. God forbid MIL let's DH change a diaper when she's over. Wiping DS's butt isn't quality time with her grandchild. Sit your 75 year old but down and relax, and let your son clean up his kid's poop! (Again, she has no issue with ME changing diapers when she's over...)[/quote]

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