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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The more you restrict, the more likely she’s going to NOT tell you things. Teenage hormones are stronger than you think and she is likely to defy you. Don’t you want an open relationship with your teens? “Nothing good comes of it” is a judgement and not a fact. My DS had a girlfriend in 9th grade at age 14. They talked on the phone and hung out at school or at one of their houses always when a parent was home (other mom and I are friends and made sure of it). They’re not dating anymore but they’re still friends. They didn’t have sex. [b]I think they had a good first dating to have learned some social norms. [/b]

I agree, and I would actually take the opposite viewpoint that A LOT of good comes out of it if they are starting to explore dating while they are young enough that you still have the ability to help them manage decision-making. As parents we don’t get to decide when our kids consider someone in their life a boyfriend or a girlfriend, we do get to decide when they are allowed to be alone with someone, when they’re given access to the healthcare they need, that they have good information about safety, respect and boundaries, etc. Also, FWIW, young relationships can often be really sweet and memorable. I work in a healthcare setting where I see a lot of teenagers with “super strict” parents and I’m telling you those kids are often at the highest risk because they have no one to talk to about decision they’re making. Please, and I mean this with kindness, be the parent your kid can talk to.

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OP here. This is exactly what I mean and what we restrict when it comes to dating: they aren’t allowed to be alone together. I’d love any other advice you have for making sure he/other boys don’t become the proverbial forbidden fruit before we think she’s mature enough to handle actual dating. 1:1 dating. I admit that part of my concern is that I had super strict parents and was that high-risk kid. I don’t want it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy for DD because I’m afraid to let her be around boys because I was sneaky. [/quote]

How do you know they aren't going off alone in the buses when she goes out with friends? You don't and you are making things much worse IMO. [/quote]

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