Reply to Do I need to do anything about this?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Do I need to do anything about this?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The more you restrict, the more likely she’s going to NOT tell you things. Teenage hormones are stronger than you think and she is likely to defy you. Don’t you want an open relationship with your teens? “Nothing good comes of it” is a judgement and not a fact. My DS had a girlfriend in 9th grade at age 14. They talked on the phone and hung out at school or at one of their houses always when a parent was home (other mom and I are friends and made sure of it). They’re not dating anymore but they’re still friends. They didn’t have sex. I think they had a good first dating to have learned some social norms.

[/quote]
And I have a daughter who was broken up with in 9th grade and who really struggled with self-esteem afterwards. What’s your point? In hindsight, I wish we had established some rules on dating (ie not allowing it).[/quote]

Do you try to protect your kids from all bad feelings? Isn’t it better for her to have felt that when she was home and under your wing than just a few years later when she’s off at college and surrounded by other teens and navigating a ton of other changes.

I have suffered low self esteem and it had nothing to do with dating. I want to arm my kids with tools to move on past problems, not try to snowplow all obstacles so that they don’t have to feel bad. The best way to develop their resilience is to deal with challenges and be supported during difficult times and coached to cope with hardships in healthy ways. I think the best time to deal with first heart break is in high school.[/quote]
I have no idea if she might have never felt those feelings had she waited until she grew up and matured a little. I don’t shield her from her feelings, but I think in hindsight, maybe it’s smart to keep them from situations where they unnecessarily need to feel them too young. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics