Reply to Did dating after divorce bring your confidence back?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sigh.  I am incredibly envious of so many of you.  I think most of you must be a lot younger and objectively significantly better looking than I am.  [/quote]

I do know a few middle aged women who lost some confidence after divorce.  They didn't get a lot of attention on the apps or, if they did, they didn't like the men who gave them attention or, if they did, they didn't like the desirable men's failure to commit.  Those women sometimes start to feel like something is wrong with them, since they can't find a good man to commit to something serious, or they just feel anxious and fearful all the time.  Divorce isn't great for them, even if they end up feeling more physically attractive.

Some women can end up replacing a sexless marriage problem with a whole new set of problems that come with modern dating. Also, if you were fairly popular with boys/men in your teens and twenties, you probably will notice that you don't stand out in a crowd the same way when you're in your fifties.  (I actually think women in their forties still get plenty of attention from older and younger men.)

Something similar can happen to men, but I think men who have decent jobs and are height and weight proportional usually end up feeling better about themselves after divorce. [/quote]

I'm the PP and would agree with all of this.  I am in my 40s and while I'm not a hideous beast, I'm not remarkable in any way – and never was. I strongly suspect that OLD would destroy the little bit of self esteem I have left after getting dumped hard, so I made a conscious decision that I am just done with all of it. I tell myself that feels better than thinking I'll meet someone. I didn't want the divorce, so I never expected it to have an upside. But I can't relate at all to the folks whose confidence is through the roof. Even my dumb ex husband was partnered up immediately – and who the hell wants to jump into a relationship with a guy who walked out on his family?  Apparently plenty of women in a wide range of ages.  Blows my mind.[/quote]

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