Reply to Ugh. Dc threatens to drop out of college at least once a semester. Or transfer someplace cheaper ( and I think easier,

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd let him take a semester at home or elsewhere and then have him go back.

I think it's important to take breaks but also to finish what you start.

I had a rough start to junior year.  I ended up withdrawing from a writing intensive class in my major.

My dad tried to offer me various solutions to my woes.  The funniest actually made me want to stay in school. It was an insane international gap year type project.  I won't say what it was, but kind of on the level of the semester spent learning how to operate a historical giant sailing ship.  My husband (friend at the time) and I still talk about it.

I eventually snapped out of my funk, dropped the frustrating class, recommitted to my major and graduated on time.

I have offered my kids gap years after high school, but older one did not want it and younger one is not interested so far.[/quote]

Ok that’s kind of awesome!! How did you do that? I’d love him to find something like that for his semester off. Im Just worried he’ll end up sitting around the house on his phone

Any other ideas like that? [/quote]

Lol, to be clear, I did not go on the crazy gap year project.  I decided I was overthinking things and it was okay to admit defeat (by withdrawing from a 2nd writing intensive class) and just "get over myself".

I remember though, how much my dad was in my corner.  How much he wanted to solve my problem for me, even if the solutions were off base.  It made me feel cared for, even though I had to solve my problems myself.

Regarding opportunities for study abroad and projects, that can be hard to do on short notice.  Usually it needs to be about a semester in advance.  When my dad was proposing something I was mid-way through fall semester and the project would have started in January.

So...how can you help find crazy proposals (lol) for your kid?  Basically the internet.  But there are professionals who are gap year consultants.  Programs cost you tuition and participation money, while working and volunteering are free.

If you really like the learning to sail a ship idea, Google for programs.  Here's one.  I have no personal experience with it.

https://www.seamester.com/sailing-study-abroad-program/

I find that living and working abroad really makes me feel fully alive.  I'm grateful for the couple opportunities that I have had.  CIEE is a reputable non-profit which my family has personal experience with.  See if there's anything there for next semester that works.

https://www.ciee.org/

I think letting your kid move home is okay and not failure to launch.  It's better than flunking/withdrawing from paid classes.  Americans are weird about kids moving out.  To the point where it's economically wasteful of family resources that could be conserved by sharing.  And why is it so great to have family that doesn't live near you and that you don't see much of.  I wouldn't worry about a temporary move home to improve comfort and happiness.

Okay...here's a maybe weird option you can propose.  For about $6K your kid can take this 3 week appliance repair course in Ohio.

https://academy.fredsappliance.com/

At the beginning of a young man's life, if he could help you, his dad, and his future household out, you'd probably get your money's worth out of it.   I've been keeping this in mind for my younger kid as a sort of very expensive summer camp once he turns 18.  Because nobody in our family is handy and every repair costs a minimum of $300 because we don't have DIY confidence.

A final thought.  Maybe if your kid takes a one or two semester break, your ExH can save enough money/catch-up to go back to paying vs. loans.

Good luck to you and your kid.  Explore all your options with an open mind.  Don't worry about what's conventional.

[/quote]

These are great ideas, thank you so much! [/quote]

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