Reply to Any big law moms with 3 kids (or more)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Female BIGLAW partner with two kids here who can attest that a number of my partners (women) have more than two kids, and their husbands are in demanding professional jobs.  They don't have tons of nannies and helpers, though some have family nearby--just your standard daycare or nanny arrangement.  some do work a reduced hour schedule (and MADE partner while on a reduced hour schedule), while others (like me) go full time.

What makes this possible?

1) Technology! We're all doing business by email and phone, no one routinely meets in person anymore.  Take advantage of your firm's technology.  Don't bother with negotiating "telecommuting policies" or getting permission to work outside the office--just work from where you need to, and don't bother explaining.  If you're doing your work, we don't care where you are.  Of course, there are some exceptions to this rule--but those lawyers tend to be fewer and fewer these days, especially as you get more senior.

2) Being realistic.  If you need to hire more help, do it.  Cleaning your house takes hours you could be spending with your kids, or finishing a brief late at night.  If you need to work fewer hours, because you want to be with your kids, or are dying getting to daycare in traffic at 6 every day, then work fewer hours.

3) Above all, don't apologize to anyone at the firm, or act like having more kids is a problem for the firm.  We working mothers make the firms a ton of money, and work 500 times harder than any other lawyer in these places.

[/quote]

Love this post. [/quote]

I don't at all because of the last sentence.  I don't doubt that this woman works hard, but she does not know the details of other people's home lives and it is a bit insulting that she thinks that she works "500 times harder" than other people in big law just because she has a kid.  In terms of performance at work, my DH is a big law partner and I work in big law myself and it seems like the link between being a parent and being one of the partners who goes the extra mile, take on the extra responsibility in the office, and never lets a colleagues down is pretty weak.  Some of the people who do this are parents and some of the people aren't, but being a parent, and being a mother especially, does not seem to make you more likely (or less likely) to be a great firm citizen. People are all different and mothers are just as likely to be selfish bastards (or thoughtful colleagues) as anyone else. Like any other group, some of them are hard working and some of them cut corners and expect others to cover for them far too often.

I also don't get the advice to "just work fewer hours."  I don't know what kind of firm she works at, but that is just not realistic at most firms.  As a partner, my husband has clients who expect the work to get done.  I guess if you work in a huge practice group where you are one of a dozen partners sharing billing on a big case you might be able to get away with this.  But, if you have landed your own business and there is no one else to handle the direct client interactions, you have to work whenever and wherever. Since most firms are scaling back on making service partners, you are more likely to be in the first camp than the second if you are a young attorney trying to make it in the profession today.  I don't doubt the PPs experience, but I think she is exaggerating what is possible for most lawyers at most big law firms in most practice areas of the law.  Telecommuting is great and my DH does it when he can, but he has client meetings many days of the week and travels at least one week out of the month.  His practice is a bit high in these areas, but telecommuting is not quite as easy as the PP says for most law partners.  Most have firm administration responsibilities and client responsibilities that requires their actual presence a good majority of the time.

I think it is possible that the PP is a bit older and made partner a while ago.  I say this because back during the boom days I knew a handful of women who made partner on a reduced schedule, but none since the crash.  Making partner is much harder now that firms are less profitable and they are not brooking any deviations from the standard unless you are single-handedly bringing in a huge book of business.  I am not trying to be deliberately argumentative with this post, but I think that when women come on here and post things about how you can "have it all," especially if you are superhuman and work "500 times harder" than everybody else, it often gives an inaccurate view of the actualities of working in the profession in 2012. It was different even ten years ago when I got out of law school.  It might not seem like things have changed when you are sitting in a partner's office and have been for a while, but that is the reality down in the trenches of the profession.[/quote]

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