Reply to Post-divorce relationships and meeting/getting to know the family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s not abrupt.

He divorced 7 years ago and they have dated 3 years … so that part of your post is not reasonable.

Her kids are not your family. She is not your family. That is clear.

But who cares, you hang out and receive people in your home or at family events all the time.

You have some unreasonable expectation that your SIL should be like a sister.

You need to get over your hang-up’s., that doesn’t mean you have to be buddy buddy with your brother girl friend, just be a mature adult [/quote]

OP didn’t say anything that suggests she isn’t being a mature adult.

She’s just saying it feels uncomfortable to have the pretense or theater that they are closer or have a deeper relationship than they really do. She’s not being impolite or uncaring. [/quote]

OP here and thanks for sticking up for me. I'm never anything but kind and polite to everyone. It's more that I am wrestling mentally with this feeling like I'm being pushed into a close relationship with people who could just disappear from my life overnight like my SIL did. I keep my brother's GF and her kids at arms length, and kind of feel like a jerk for doing it, but also feel that for my own mental wellness it's the right thing. It's just hard and awkward and I've never heard anyone talk about this before so was hoping to find kindred spirits here.

It's not about judging or disliking my brother's GF. She seems perfectly nice.[/quote]

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