Reply to Anyone else get a guilt trip from their parents for not living in their "home" city?

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Reply to "Anyone else get a guilt trip from their parents for not living in their "home" city?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My mom does this all the time, OP.  They live in CT, and my sister, Bro and law, and their kids live in the same town.

I think what it is is, they feel guilty that they can't spend as much time with us as they'd like, especially relative to my sister's family.  Also, it's a hardship for them to come down here now they they are getting older.  Also, they moved here originally when we were growing up, so it's sort of their fault that I'm even here!

I don't think my mom even realizes what a guilt trip it sounds like when they make you feel bad for not visiting more often or not visiting.  It's very common to be in different states from your family of origin, we're still very close, talk on the phone all the time, etc.  Neither of us is moving any time soon so we just have to deal.

I have pointed out to them that they are retired, don't have to wait for weekends or vacations to come down here, etc.  but it's funny how they don't want to give up their lives all that often but would expect me to come up whenever.

I'll one-up you on annoying:  my parents have a cat that gives my son such bad allergies that he couldn't breath the last time we stayed overnight with them, so we stay in a hotel when we go up there now.  We only go up 2-3 times a year, but if they really wanted to see more of us, they'd get rid of the cat!  The cat is also the reason my dad doesn't want to be away from home all that often, because he's concerned about how it is being treated while he's away.

There is just no pleasing some people.  Do what works for your family and try to be considerate, but it's not your responsibility to placate them anymore.[/quote]

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