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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just went with my mom.  One of the days I think we also brought a friend.

Do you have a relationship with your future DIL's mom?  My mom doesn't play well with others and I wouldn't have been able to invite my future MIL even if I wanted to.  Not saying that's what happened here, but there may be dynamics at play that have nothing to do with what your future DIL actually wants.[/quote]

Yes we get along very well and like each other. 
She has expressed that this is a welcome change for her because she her DIL mom isn’t close at all. [/quote]

Well she probably didn't invite you because it would be difficult for her mom to observe your close relationship, and that in turn would make your DIL's life more difficult.

You can choose to be a pain about this and lose your good relationship, or you can choose to play the long game and say nothing. You are entitled to nothing here and trying to play Emily Post Wedding Rulebook will get you nowhere. [/quote]

She asked if I got along w her mom and I said yes. The MOMS get along. [/quote]

That's not the point. She and her mom don't have a good relationship and she doesn't want you there in an intimate setting to witness it. It's not because she thinks you'll get in a fight with her mom. It's because not being close with her mom is already stressful for her and having you there would make it more so.

Again, there is zero rule or norm about future MILs participating in this, so you have no right to anything no matter how good your relationship is.[/quote]

wow, did you misinterpret. 
The Moms get along. My DIL to be and I get along very well.

However, DIL to be has a brother who is married. THAT MOM and DIL's Mom aren't close. 
My DIL's to be Mom has expressed to me how glad she is that we're close. [/quote]

Sorry that "she her DIL mom" wasn't crystal clear to me.

If you were that close she's pick you over her aunt and cousin. She didn't. That's the bottom line here.

And again, this is probably because your future DIL isn't that close with her mom so she doesn't want to add complexity to an already sensitive situation. I know you think you get along with the DIL's mom, but that might be *because* you haven't spent time with her in a more personal situation. Or maybe your DIL' s aunt and cousin are difficult so your DIL doesn't want you to have to see them. Who knows. Bottom line it's her dress and her family and her choice. Not yours. [/quote]

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