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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, OP. Childhood family dynamics are practically set in stone for life.

I'm not judging you, but in the families I know, even if the children grow up to be financially successful, if they had messy lives as children, they still have messy lives as adults, and perhaps this is what your siblings are commenting on.

Ex: my husband has ADHD. He had a volatile childhood and was definitely the headstrong, getting-into-trouble type. His siblings recount hair-raising stories of what he did. His parents punished him for being "the bad boy". Now he's wealthy, and still leads a messy life. I married him when he was a struggling guy, and now he's worth 20M. As his wife, I tolerate his inattention, habitual tardiness and mercurial character as best as I can. ADHD doesn't go away just because you become rich, have a nice house and a spouse and kids.

[/quote]

Your example is very much like my sibling. They had a very volatile childhood. There were just SO SO many stories and instances of craziness that my nuclear family, as well as my extended family, can't get over it. In some ways, I think my other sibling, my parents, and I all have PTSD from it all. Sibling hasn't really acknowledged how wild they were or how my parents spent 99% of their attention on them instead of their other kids, their marriage or their jobs. I think some sort of acknowledgement would go a long way. I personally never talk about it or think much about my sibling, and have worked through it in therapy.

Some of the stories are a lot of fun to talk about and they eclipse everything that's happened since. Why talk about Larla's boring job/life now, when we could talk about the time Larla went joyriding at aged 8 and had multiple cop cars following her on chase? Or the time they tried to go rock climbing up the exterior fireplace chimney and pulled the entire chimney stack down off grandpa's house? Or the time they ran away from home at aged 4 and weren't found for 2 days? (Home was a very happy home too! No abuse or dysfunction)[/quote]

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