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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you pushed him to have more kids than he wanted, and you don’t work, and now you want him to share in parenting and you’re surprised he’s not into it?

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OP here. [b]No, having the amount of kids that we do was a joint decision.[/b] No one was forced into anything.

Also, I don't understand how a parent, male or female, is excused from parenting duties, no matter their feelings? Guess I'm "old school" there..? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Lastly, I work my tail off (to put it lightly) to take care of all of our kids. Hardest f*****g job ever and no, I don't get paid but they doesn't take away from the fact that I *do* work, it just isn't outside the home, so it's always dismissed.[/quote]

So what’s his excuse then? Has he ever assisted with the kids? [/quote]

OP here.

The amount of times he has taken the initiative to take care of our kids, I can count on two hands. Even when he sees me struggling, he doesn't step up.

He doesn't even pick up our baby when crying - if I am unable to at the moment, I have to ask him to pick up the baby so that baby doesn't end up spitting up everywhere due to the crying - I mean, who is like that?

On weekends, he won't feed the kids breakfast to allow me to get a quick bite. No, he has to take care of himself and get coffee first. At outings, I'm left to juggle everything between playtime, diapers, getting the kids food, nap time for baby, etc.

He doesn't step up to say he'll get the older kids food so I can feed baby or eat something for myself. He won't play with the kids despite their pleas.

He treats outings as purely social for himself while I'm left to do everything and not have much meaningful connection with family and friends when we are out.

Basically I have to be a nagging wife which everyone hates. Which further leads to more resentment.[/quote]

I am the previous poster who grew up with a horrible father like your DH. So I do sympathize with your situation.

However, I urge you to think this through. You are a SAHM of 3 young children with no career. You sound very naive, unprepared, and unstrategic. You are not in a position to make any sudden moves.

The first thing you need to do is consult an attorney and a therapist. Due to my background I often advise people here to leave their angry DHs; however I am not sure if it is the best move in your situation.

I would emotionally check out of the marriage and focus on single-parenting while viewing DH as a useful resource to fund your lifestyle. Do not expect any parenting help from him. You are rich, hire the help that you need. Assume that you are 100% the primary parent and let DH focus on golfing with his buds and continuing to keep the big bucks coming in to pay for everything. Do not count on him for any emotional support and do not complain. Vent to friends or family instead. [/quote]

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