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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you divorce you’ll still have to share 50% custody with the man you say can’t be bothered to interact with his kids.[/quote]

OP here. Yes, this is a very big fear of mine. I wouldn't be there for the other half and that makes me so uncomfortable 😞

How can one fight for 100% physical custody but 50% legal custody??[/quote]

Your best shot at this is not fighting but manipulating. It’s going to be hard road since you are a SAHM and he is not going to want to give you full custody due to $$$. What you can do is assess his personality and use it to your advantage. Do you have enough family wealth to essentially pay him off? The simple truth is that many fathers don’t want 50/50 but they don’t want to pay full child support even more. These types can be bought off fairly easily, but you need real money to do it. Another type is the father who cares deeply about the image of being a parent but could not care less about parenting. For these men you give them 50/50 on paper while shifting to actually doing 90% of the child care. It’s not “fair” but is a way to keep the kids with you while allowing exDH to save face and keep up his image. [/quote]

OP here. Yeah, he would definitely be all about appearances.

The thing that is difficult for me, is that he has everyone fooled. He helps literally anyone but me. Keeps up relationships with everyone but me (and his kids).

This would shock my family and his family, coming out of left field from their perspectives.

I don't necessarily think, though, that he wouldn't be okay with paying child support. But his parents are extremely vindictive people and they would be the ones advising him through anything. So it could get ugly very fast.

I'm also considering just unhappily slogging through another 10-15 years so that our kids would be 15, 19, and 23 by the time we decide to part.[/quote]

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