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Reply to "Spouse cannot accept child’s issues"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, are you Asian and from the same culture?  This is very common in Asian families in the boomer generation. Less so in next generation so it is a little surprising your husband is so stubborn but these attitudes can be passed down from his own childhood of being loved conditionally.

As an Asian, I can say that many many of my friends grew up in families like this. This is the norm, some worse than others or course. Most of us turned out fine, and as a whole I don't see my Asian friends having more psychological issues or trauma than white friends. Most of my friends were not SN, however, so take it with a grain of salt, but the idea of growing up feeling like you are not good enough is kind of a universal Asian second generation experience.

The real question is, can you handle this? Being the sole support for your child, and being able to put up with his condescension. He is unlikely to change.

Random thought, can you talk to your in laws? If there is to be any change, it might have to start with your MIL, because again, highly likely his issues stem from conditional love in his own childhood.

Good news is, if you divorce, sounds like he might be willing to give up custody. [/quote]

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