Reply to Bf left for a few days and I am thrilled-bad sign?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bf recently moved in and while we love each other very much and we work well together (this has been the most mature and calm relationship I’ve ever had), I am not very happy with how the move went overall.

He decided to move things over little by little, leaving my, now, our place in a state of « in between » that’s just lasted too long (it’s been two months). I am off for several weeks this summer and working on a masters thesis. My goal was to focus on that, my health, making dinner, etc…I have zero issues taking on more on the domestic front while I’m off work, but the move has had taken up a large chunk of my « free time ».

I am a bit upset that he didn’t take any time off to take care of the move, even a day or two to do it all at once, instead he’s moved things over at night and weekends. I have been organizing all his stuff, meeting buyers at his place to hand off stuff and furniture, dropping stuff (mine and his) off at thrift stores, and selling a lot of things on marketplace. It has really taken a lot of time.

[b]I voiced to him that I feel my personal time has come as a collateral to his refusal to take time off for the move. [/b]Some background here is that he works for himself, is kind of a workaholic, struggles with taking vacation, etc.

[b]He got a bit defensive and said that’s why I « should pay someone to complain to ». [/b]He mostly does get defensive when the topic of time off/vacation time comes up.

I don’t need any « break up » response because overall this is a great relationship. Outside of this move, it’s great, he actually was at my place for 6 months before moving in with no issues regarding sharing domestic responsibilities.

He just left to visit his parents for 4-5 days for his dad’s bday and I am thrilled to have the time off since I have felt a bit suffocated lately by the move. I also politely pointed out recently that i wish he would take time off for us.

I wonder if me being happy he left for a few days is a bad sign. 😞

Should I just get over it? Or try to discuss this further?[/quote]

The move-in process is not the issue.  You bringing up that you're no longer comfortable with him relying on your unpaid labor to make his life easier and being met with "pay a therapist to whine to, I don't want to hear about it" is the issue.  If you cannot communicate about a real problem in your relationship without him dismissing and attacking you, this is not a "great relationship."[/quote]

+1000[/quote]

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