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[quote=Anonymous]Similar to other posters, my experience is that the narcissistic parent can only view scenarios from his or her perspective since they have no ability to empathize with others. My father also finds a way to bring attention to his needs during others’ major life events. During my college graduation, he sulked in a corner claiming I wasn’t introducing him to enough people. When we had to cancel our 2020 wedding due to the pandemic, he gave me the silent treatment, ostensibly because I was robbing him of the opportunity to have him walk me down the aisle. When I had my first child, he threatened not to come during the weekend I had planned for both families to visit and meet since he had wanted to be present at the birth, which I had said no to. When my brother got a DUI, my father lashed out saying it would cause my father to be publicly humiliated. When my brother comes to visit me now, if my father finds out he will have my mom set up a call with us kids so that he can tell us how mean we are for spending time together without him. Narcissists have very fragile egos because they are deeply insecure people.
Lots of silent treatment (sometimes lasting up to a month when I was a child, with the reasoning never being explained), gaslighting, and guilting. I’ve never heard my father apologize. He had multiple affairs and even threatened to move with one of his mistresses to Texas and take 3 of us kids, leaving my pregnant mother behind with no money. He didn’t even apologize for that transgression!
I second the book recommendation, it’s very good framing for identifying and understanding emotionally immature parents. I also heard a great simple test of a dysfunctional family recently- is the family focused on the needs of the children or the needs of an adult? Gets you to the answer quite quickly![/quote]

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