Reply to Caring or supporting for an elderly parent with a rotten personality

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Caring or supporting for an elderly parent with a rotten personality"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]…I care for my parent now because that's who I am. My behavior is not dependent on them. I'm an adult now. It's my choice.[/quote]
[b]Do you live with your parent? If so, who moved in with whom? Do you work? Who cares for your parent when you’re not present? Is dementia involved? Who is paying for housing, groceries, medical costs? Are any other family members contributing? [/b]

Please don’t feel the need to answer, and I think you’re doing a very kind thing—but these details are important when it comes to caring for aging family members. Judging others in these extremely complicated situations isn’t helpful.

There is quite a bit of resistance by many older parents to allowing their adult children to influence (let alone take charge of) any of their affairs—while understandable, this puts adult children in the unfortunate and nearly impossible situation of being able to help only once things become quite dire.

Complicating matters today is that aging parents are living much longer with more serious health issues and disabilities.

https://www.prb.org/resources/fact-sheet-trends-in-family-care-for-older-americans/

Hopefully, there will be more support options on the horizon in the near future. In the meantime, it’s helpful to hear how and where others are finding support as they work to support their aging parents. [/quote]

No, they refuse to live with any of their children although I have asked for them to move in with me and my DH many times. I suspect that is because they cannot trust (or even love) which explains our upbringing. Sad. I see them every day and do the menial things like washing hair, cutting nails after scraping the food and dirt out, changing shirts covered in crumbs, driving over in the middle of the night if they call etc.

Yes, I am judging but even more I am encouraging others to be their best selves. If everyone on DCUM encouraged us to be the best we can be, to shine a light on better options than bitterness and retaliation and cutting people off, we would have a better community. The advice on DCUM often feels like a smoker telling someone not to bother quitting. Qutting is hard. It takes a lot of willpower and support. So does being kind sometimes.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics