Reply to I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.

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Reply to "I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I want my teens to start doing chores I make them do it with me first. They never say no or 'delay' when I ask them to work alongside me. Once things become more second nature for them it is easier to pin them down on doing it by themselves. Sometimes it it just an executive function issue.[/quote]

Op here. I’ve done this already. They’re older teens. They know how to unload the dishwasher and load it, and we’ve done it ‘together’ a number of times before. This is total laziness. I’m not backing down and going to bed. One teen is out still, and the other is still shuffling around. I guess I’ll wake up to a dirty kitchen. I’m going to keep the paper plates in my room so they can’t use them :) [/quote]

Stop being such a door mat. Go to the teen who is there and say, “you need to come to the kitchen now and do the dishes.”

If he does not like it, he can move out and get a job when he turns 18.[/quote]

[b]Agree that you’re being a doormat.[/b] They’re still up?? I would put a note on each of their beds saying “the dishes better be done by the time I wake up or I will be turning off the phones that I pay for until the dishes are done” and follow through.

The kids keep pushing it off because you’ve passively let them do it over and over and your word means nothing.

We are on vacation with in laws who parent their kids this way. A lot of empty suggestions and no follow through and my niece/nephew get away with doing pretty much nothing because their parents are somehow afraid of them, it’s mind boggling actually.

And this is why teachers are so damn tired—kids who aren’t held to expectations at home can’t be held to them at school because they haven’t had consistent experience with firm expectations.

And if you read any threads about dh’s being aholes and everyone blaming autism or adhd on it, let’s think back to how these men were parented —when the going got tough….mom just quietly did the dishes…..

Give your kids a fighting chance at having a good partnership when they’re older by actually holding them to expectations and allowing them to understand the consequences that happen when they don’t. You’re not allowing them to get more sleep, you’re enabling the laziness. [/quote]

Doormat? That’s funny. Not at all. In fact I’m the parent on the other chain who doesn’t want to cook full time for my older teens during the summer and everyone is accusing me of being negligent and depriving them of
‘Nutritious meals’ and ‘special time’. I think everyone should contribute fairly equally in a family, and by this age it’s not my ‘job’ to do most of everything around the house, especially because I’m in a VERY busy patch at work and teens are busy but have more time than me right now. There is tons of nutritious food in our house btw and access to fresh fruits and vegetables and excellent grocery stores within walking distance, plus good inexpensive restaurant options. Those posts made me laugh because people implied I was starving my teens.

So as update, dishes are not done!! The kitchen and living room is tidy overall but the dishes are in the sink and the dishwasher is unloaded.

I did put notes out, on the table and one teens bathroom. So it’s a stand off! I can’t turn off phones for various reasons, but I took one teens gaming stuff a few days ago, no $ for them obviously etc. The older teen left for work already unfortunately, but the younger teen is here and is actually a little OCD (his room and bathroom are spotless) so I’m wondering how he’ll react to his precious smoothie blender being disgusting ;)

I won’t get into a screaming or yelling match with my teens, but I’ve reminded them both and just walked out of their rooms. So let’s see. [/quote]

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