Reply to I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.

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Reply to "I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I want my teens to start doing chores I make them do it with me first. They never say no or 'delay' when I ask them to work alongside me. Once things become more second nature for them it is easier to pin them down on doing it by themselves. Sometimes it it just an executive function issue.[/quote]

Op here. I’ve done this already. They’re older teens. They know how to unload the dishwasher and load it, and we’ve done it ‘together’ a number of times before. This is total laziness. I’m not backing down and going to bed. One teen is out still, and the other is still shuffling around. I guess I’ll wake up to a dirty kitchen. I’m going to keep the paper plates in my room so they can’t use them :) [/quote]

Stop being such a door mat. Go to the teen who is there and say, “you need to come to the kitchen now and do the dishes.”

If he does not like it, he can move out and get a job when he turns 18.[/quote]

Agree that you’re being a doormat. They’re still up?? I would put a note on each of their beds saying “the dishes better be done by the time I wake up or I will be turning off the phones that I pay for until the dishes are done” and follow through.

The kids keep pushing it off because you’ve passively let them do it over and over and your word means nothing.

We are on vacation with in laws who parent their kids this way. A lot of empty suggestions and no follow through and my niece/nephew get away with doing pretty much nothing because their parents are somehow afraid of them, it’s mind boggling actually.

And this is why teachers are so damn tired—kids who aren’t held to expectations at home can’t be held to them at school because they haven’t had consistent experience with firm expectations.

And if you read any threads about dh’s being aholes and everyone blaming autism or adhd on it, let’s think back to how these men were parented —when the going got tough….mom just quietly did the dishes…..

Give your kids a fighting chance at having a good partnership when they’re older by actually holding them to expectations and allowing them to understand the consequences that happen when they don’t. You’re not allowing them to get more sleep, you’re enabling the laziness. [/quote]

Amen, except I don't love the note idea because it's passive aggressive.

Set the expectation that dishes are done immediately after dinner. Nobody goes out or watches TV until that's done. If they can get a handle on that, maybe they'll earn more flexibility on when to complete the chore. Be clear that you tried giving them that flexibility to start, because adults should have some control over their time, but they blew it.

Although if one kid is routinely not home for dinner [i]and[/i] not home until you go to bed, then this is not a good choice of chore for them. Pick other chores instead. [/quote]

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