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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A good counselor will tell you they won't do couples counseling when there is abuse present.[/quote]

Yes, a good counselor will have a hard stop when abuse is mentioned, especially physical. There might be [img]some[/img] nuance with verbal and financial but when you get to, "he gave me 2 black eyes " that couples counseling is done. They would  however, recommend individual counseling as would I.[/quote]

OP and fortunately no physical abuse and no way to prove the other abuse except confirmation from a minor child who witnessed it, which is why I think I got the couples counseling suggestion. I don’t think verbal/financial/emotional abuse is nuanced but proof of it definitely is which is why this seems more complicated than it should be.[/quote]

PP here who asked about proof. He never wrote nasty texts or emails? You can't show patterns of where he wouldn't let you buy something (or whatever) with dates?[/quote]

It’s more complicated than that. An example of the financial stuff was stuff like deliberately moving things out of our joint account to invest in things he was interested in on the day that he knew I needed money to pay my credit card bill for the card in my name that we use for groceries, kid stuff, day to day expenses, etc. Or giving me an impossibly hard time about minor and non-negotiable expenses, like a long overdue restock of toilet paper, laundry soap, etc- he doesn’t ever do it so he was shocked by the prices and doesn’t have a grasp of what things actually cost. We divide up who pays for which bills and my income is smaller, so when I pay school bills, 529 savings, etc I don’t have extra left over and our living expenses and spending money are supposed to come out of our joint account where part of his paycheck goes.

He does not communicate by email or text and either deliberately or coincidentally confined all of his bad behavior to verbal discussions. The neighbors have absolutely heard him screaming but I don’t see involving them as the answer.  [/quote]

Let me be the first to say, before anyone here tries to gaslight you: what a POS abuser.[/quote]

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