Reply to She’s not allowed to just keep popping in and out of our lives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you are angry that she isn’t more involved, and you see that as her not really caring about you or your kids. You resent that she engages with you and your kids 100% on her terms, and you feel you are expected to be grateful for her crumbs and expected to cater to what she wants. [/quote]

OP here. This is exactly how I feel. She can’t be bothered unless it’s a calendar holiday—and all of them: she suddenly HAS to come trick or treating, or HAS to be there with all things green for St. Patrick’s Day, and of course the big holidays and birthdays. But a random dinner invite? She can’t be bothered. You’re spot on that it’s only on her terms, and it seems she only wants it when she can somehow be the center of attention. It is hurtful and I do resent being expected to ask how high when she says “jump”. [/quote]

You sound like a pull.  Let me tell you whats hurtful- I have a heart condition and epilepsy triggered by stress; DH and I are both losing our jobs and I've been having seizures regularly- my mom calls me maybe twice a month, talks about her herb garden and gets off the phone. She literally never asks how we are doing or how my health is.  I also call her about twice a month and listen to her talk about her garden or that she wants whatever medical treatment (all elective) from her Dr.  If I tell her my health is declining or anything personal like that she literally says something to the effect of "Oh, that's too bad.  I'll pray for you.  Oh, I have to go to the grocery store now."  I'd love a mother who cared enough to show interest in anything other than herself.  Sound like she's interested in being a part of your family holidays, which is more than I get from my own selfish mother. [/quote]

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