Reply to Do you think sharing past trauma with your older teen/young adult child is bad?

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Reply to "Do you think sharing past trauma with your older teen/young adult child is bad?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My child knows I don't see my parents and the few encounters he has had is with supervision from a family member or my husband.

DH and I talk about it in language they understand that is age appropriate.

My mother once asked him at a family event why I won't talk to her and he told her in plain language "because I was mean to her". She then burst into tears and made a big scene talking to him that it wasn't true. Others in the family saw and then understood why I stopped and why I'm protective.

As he gets older I will share more with him but when it comes up. He's not my therapist (not saying that is what the OP is doing) or my friend but my child. As he gets older it's important for him to know why I behave the way I do and where it all comes from.

When I'm short tempered I apologize for it and tell him I'm stressed; when I say no or yes to something I explain why so its not a mystery.

And to the troll - you have to talk to your kids too about why things are the way they are; they aren't your friend or partner but they are part of your life and they need to understand things too. So they can learn to talk and behave within boundaries to not be horrible (knowing or unknowingly) to others in their life as they get older.
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