Reply to DH turned his emotional abuse and screaming on DD

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop with the pity party.  Which sounds harsh but getting caught in the mentality of "I'm a bad mom" "I failed her" etc will do nothing except cause more inaction.  Yep, fine, you messed up.  But you can't go back and change things so the only thing you can do is move forward.

1.   You can't afford the dog. I'm sorry and I would be sobbing if I had to give up my dog.  But the reality is every single penny you have needs to be put into getting you and your daughter into a safe situation.  And dog food, vet, and all the other dog expenses are not a luxury you can have.  If your husband treats the dog fine, the dog stays with him.

2.  You call a hotline.  Now.  No putting it off.  That's where the pity party prevents you from acting.

3.   If you have joint expenses right now, use them to go stay in a hotel for a week.  [/quote]

I called the hotline. It wasn’t a great experience and I know they were doing their best and maybe I was explaining things poorly, too. It used up whatever courage I had left.

I am pulling together important documents tonight while my DD is at her sleepover and trying to get all of my financial stuff downloaded as soon as I type this update. I’m worried about that part and making sure I can screenshot and get PDFs of every possible thing.

I found a hotel for check in tomorrow through next Friday. I am working on a plan for DD to get her to her regular summer morning activity and then have a place for her to go in the afternoons that will feel normal. That is the part the hotline was not very helpful with and I’m confused about whether taking her out of the house will have legal consequences for me later.

I have access to my own credit cards but it looks like he has moved money from our joint checking account. So I think I need to be really careful with cash and plan out how I might use my credit cards. I was able to move $2k to an account he can’t touch as soon as I saw our checking so that is the cash I have, plus some emergency cash in my possession that he doesn’t know about.

There is plenty of other money in both our names that he can’t move without me approving it and the reverse is also true, so those funds are irrelevant.

The dog isn’t staying with him. I’m calling the boarding place in the morning but the backup is that he might be able to go to a friend from grad school’s house. [/quote]

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