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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a work colleague (same industry, different companies) who is also one of my best friends. He’s always been there for me and helps me out anytime I need it.

I never considered him a romantic partner because he’s an addict (both drugs and sex). He’s been sober for years and sees a therapist to help with the sex addiction. He’s very open about it and I can tell has put in a TON of work to improve.

The other day I called him about a work problem and started to have a panic attack. He calmed me down, got me breathing, and we worked through the panic attack and the problem.

I’ve never had a man who did that before - who would literally sit there with me for 15 minutes walking me through breathing exercises - the small handful of times I did have a panic attack around a man they’d get uncomfortable and leave or give me a few awkward pats on the back.

I know this guy has been interested in me for some time and this is the first time I’ve really seen him as a potential partner. But, the addiction thing really scares me. I don’t think he would do drugs ever again, but the sex addiction seems like it could cause huge problems. But I also recognize he is very serious about fixing it.

Can addicts ever really change?[/quote]

All people can change. And honestly? Most people are addicts. Don't believe me? Log out of all your social media and stay off DCUM for 6 months. Can't or won't? Congrats: you're an addict.

Human brains are incredibly susceptible to addictions. Our culture only penalizes certain addictions. Gambling addicts, drug/alcohol users, compulsive shoppers/hoarders all have a negative reputation, but workaholics, compulsive gym-goers, tech "geniuses" (most of whom are narcissists and addicted to attention) get a pass.

Someone who has taken the time to unpack and address their addiction(s) is a much safer bet than someone who hasn't acknowledged they have one, or won't. Take it slow and have an exit strategy and "hard boundary" (i.e. if they start drinking again, I'm out), which is good advice for any relationship.[/quote]

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