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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The old argument was that girls in coed schools were denied leadership opportunities and were silenced in the classroom. That is just no longer true in the independent schools around here. Girls are leaders in these schools in all areas. [/quote]

In spite of girls being the clear leaders in and out of the classroom, our experience was that boys' needs sucked all of the energy and attention from teachers and the administration. School days were dominated by boy drama at recess, boy behaviors during class, boy disruptions, etc. And no, teachers weren't holding them to "girl" standards- because of specific grants our school had won, our administration worked hard to address the issue with a counseling team, developmental experts, etc., and boys were given a structure and culture that really favored their needs, but that only seemed to make their behavior worse.

I saw a long time ago on dcum that boys would best thrive in either the strictest of settings and/or in a setting that emphasized physical work. I think many boys need the equivalent of Deep Springs, but for elementary and middle school. [/quote]
I totally agree with this. The reality is the approaches that really motivate boys—structured challenge, blunt accountability, even a little tough talk—just don’t work the same way in co-ed settings. In an all-boys environment, you can say something like “What’s your problem, man? Get it together,” and it lands hard but still supportive. In a co-ed classroom, with girls listening, it just reads differently.

Boys also need room to push limits, go a little wild, take risks—and then learn how to reel it back in on a dime. That’s actually a skill in itself. But [b]you can’t really allow that kind of energy in co-ed without it swallowing the whole environment and draining time and attention away from the girls.[/b] And even when schools try to manage it with counseling teams and boy-focused programs, it often just feeds the drama and still sucks all the oxygen from the room.

This is exactly why elite, well-curated all-boys schools can work so well. They’re designed to channel that energy in positive ways without hurting anyone else’s learning. But for me, it’s also crucial that even in an all-boys school, there are women in leadership. I wouldn’t send my sons anywhere they didn’t see strong female authority modeled too. So I’m glad they had co-ed elementary years, but for middle and high school, they’re going to an elite all-boys institution. We’d never choose a “general population” boys’ school—if the choice were between that and co-ed, we’d pick co-ed every time. But in the right, well-run boys’ school, all that boy energy that’s disruptive in co-ed can actually be shaped into something really positive.
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The bolded nails it. Our school actually tried that in a very deliberate way and it was a massive failure that eventually led to multiple teachers quitting and huge retention issues for girls that year. School even sent an email in April of that year addressing the problems but it was too little, too late. Most boy families were very happy with the atmosphere that year, though. [/quote]

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