Reply to Would it be inappropriate for your ex's new wife to name their dog after your daughter?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]If it were the same name as a family member in that home (the new wife, one of the new kids), they would change the name of the dog. [/b]

I get that it was trained on the name. But young dogs can switch up easily. It’s not a big deal for them. And again, if it happened to come with the name Shiela, and the new wife is Shiela, guess what they would do… change the name.

I think it is disrespectful. There are many names where I don’t personally know a single person. A new baby in our life, Turner, is the only one I’ve ever met. I don’t personally know any: Jeff, Cory, Chandler, Beatrice, Shiela, or Trina. I could keep going.

Choose a name for your dog that you don’t know anyone with the name. Pet names are good for this, Snickers, Rambo, Sweetie, Barky  McBarkface.[/quote]

The bolded is the key point. I am not surprised in the Prudence response because there is a very dominant philosophy in our culture that being mentally healthy means never being bothered. You see it a lot on DCUM but it's everywhere, and there's this idea that if you are upset or offended about any non-criminal behavior, then you need to "learn to chill" or whatever.

I increasingly think this is a toxic attitude that just encourages a lot of passive aggressive behavior, protects people who are rude and unkind, and gaslights people who get treated poorly by their family and friends.

Anyway, yes, the letter writer was right to be bothered, the ex and his wife should have changed the name, and Prudence was overly harsh even though I do in fact hate when people describe a woman having a baby as "whelping" because yes, that's misogynist. But that doesn't mean LW is wrong about the dog.[/quote]

+1 I was going to comment to say that the letter writer was being hysterical but the point made by the PP changed my mind. Just because the letter writer is obviously angry over her divorce and jealous of the new wife doesn't mean she isn't correct that the dog's name is disrespectful to her daughter. [/quote]

But the daughter doesn't seem to care?[/quote]

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