Reply to HELP - just realized my 7-year-old boy is searching YouTube for naked girls

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Call me crazy, but this would not concern me at all.

If I recall correctly, most DC elementary school students take "health" classes where the physical differences between boys' and girls' bodies are discussed beginning at about second grade.  It is totally appropriate for a seven-year-old boy to be curious about those differences.  And based on the search terms you added above, it's pretty clear that your son wasn't intentionally looking for anything sexual or exploitive.

I think it's important not to make your child feel that his curiosity about the anatomy of the opposite gender is shameful or inappropriate.  If it were my child, I would probably let him know that most computers automatically save all search queries, so you can see that he was trying to find images of naked girls.  Reassure him that his curiosity is normal and appropriate, and you would be happy to answer any questions he has.  You could also ask to take him to the library or look on Amazon for books that might help him understand how boys' and girls' bodies are different.

Then, point out that searching online isn't the best way for him to explore this particular topic because some of the videos of naked people on the internet are appropriate for adults, but not for kids, and some might not be appropriate or healthy for anyone.  If he asks why or seems confused, you can point to other familiar things (like driving a car, buying a house, drinking alcohol, and making babies that are not inherently bad; they're just not appropriate for kids his age.

I am not familiar with the book mentioned by a prior poster, but I would be disinclined to raise the subject of pornography or sexualized photos of girls with a seven-year-old.  Save that for late elementary or middle school, AFTER your son starts asking questions that are clearly about sexuality rather than anatomy.

Why not go there preemptively, to help him understand what makes certain kinds of nudity acceptable and other kinds of nudity harmful or exploitive?  Because most seven-year-olds understand gender, and some have been told how human babies are made, but I've never met a seven-year-old who understood sexuality.  If a boy doesn't understand sexuality, how could he possibly understand sexual gratification, objectification, or exploitation?  By going there prematurely, you are more likely to scare him than teach healthy boundaries.

Here's an example.  At around age 7, one of my daughter's friends was inadvertently exposed to porn (and probably some through-the-walls intercourse) while visiting her single father and his girlfriend.  It was traumatic for her, but she never mentioned it to either of her parents.  Months later, while at my house for a playdate, she left behind a notebook that contained age-inappropriate and extremely anxious musings of a sexual nature.  Of course I shared it with the girl's mother, who investigated and later spoke with the child.  The child cried and confessed that she was scared that she "might have to do stuff like that someday."

In other words, handle your son's search in a matter-of-fact way that makes him feel comfortable expressing his curiosity.  That way, maybe he will be comfortable letting you know (directly or indirectly) when he is ready to know more.

Good luck!  [/quote]

Thank you for this through and thoughtful response![/quote]

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