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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]They were important to your parent, but they did not have the cognitive ability to find them again or remember where they were. [/b]I'm glad you got them back, OP.[/quote]

This is the wrong thing to say to a child of hoarders. Signed, a COH[/quote]

PP you replied to. Why?

I am the wife of a hoarder. I know my husband cares about the stuff he cannot sort. Hoarding is a mental illness that is linked to anxiety, autism and ADHD. The person does not have the executive function to sort through their stuff (ADHD). They are irrationally attached to their material things and cannot let them go (autism). And when they are pushed to get rid of most of it, and keep only a small fraction, they get incredibly emotional disturbed (anxiety).

I would appreciate getting your side of things, because to me, living with a hoarder, it's quite clear.

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I am a child of hoarders. I grew up in hoarded house, so I lived with hoarders too. I did not have any agency in that decision, I was not an adult, I had no where else to live. I was a CHILD.

Raising a child in a hoarded house is a form of constant trauma and neglect. It's not like having a dysfunctional, alcoholic parent where you can hide in your room to escape. There is no escape. You don't even have a clean bed to sleep on. Or clean clothes. Or in some places running water. And god forbid ANYONE from school find out.

You are an adult. You also sound like an enabler, making excuses for your spouse and their behavior that has a direct and constant effect on others in the house. I hope you do not have children. Assigning meaning to whatever it is a hoarder hoards is buying into that hoarder's mental illness and enabling. Assigning meaning to the trash my parents refused to throw away, and to not allowing OP to get their meaningful momentoes they asked for and wanted is dismissing the abuse and neglect and the experience of children of hoarders. You are part of the problem. Hoarding is like any other addiction where it can have a direct effect on everyone surrounding the hoarder. You think it's just a little bit of ADHD or OCD? It's abuse. Please get help. And remove any children from this.[/quote]

PP you replied to. Our house is cleaned by me and my husband's hoarding is confined to the basement and his study, per multiple fights and the agreement we finally hashed out. I will always protect my children.

You need to calm down and understand that hoarding is on a spectrum. You cannot lash out in anger, call me names and assume that I am your parent.

[/quote]

I can say whatever I want. Doesn’t sound like you’re protecting your children rather than make excuses. Who speaks for them? Maybe realize they may be angry with you when they grow up for excusing things on a spectrum as an excuse to allow them to live with a hoard. I called you an enabler, which you are. You need to hear it. You need profession help, so do your children.  [/quote]

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