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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also cut off my brother once I had kids because his mental illness and alcoholism were too violent and unpredictable to be around, and also because the mental energy involved in being in this orbit was very, very draining -- his "crisis" became the only thing my parents could focus on for two decades.

I have no regrets because my kids have had a peaceful, happy childhood and we can all thrive. sadly, my brother passed away from liver failure. I deeply wish his life had gone differently, but I don't see how I could have stayed in his orbit safely. no regrets, lots of sadness.[/quote]

This is sort of my situation as well, although my brother is still alive and I haven't cut him off completely. We see him on holidays with extended family, although he didn't show for Thanksgiving last year. My kids are old enough now to see that he is unreliable (may or may not show up, will likely be late, won't stay long, etc.). My elderly parents are still very focused on his "crisis" and have been for at least a decade.  [/quote]

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