Reply to DS diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type, spouse has all the signs too, got very angry when I asked if they had ever been

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Reply to "DS diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type, spouse has all the signs too, got very angry when I asked if they had ever been"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will also add that menopause has made me much more sympathetic to executive functioning differences. The brain fog is real. My super high executive functioning has definitely decreased. I’m probably more likely to get distracted and leave the stove on right now.[/quote]

This. It's been eye opening and hard for both of us. My strong EF was what made our household tick, so we've had to adjust as it deteriorates.[/quote]

Would you mind sharing what adjustments you have made?  It would be helpful for those of us who are aging with special needs children and spouses who are dealing with their own cognitive challenges. [/quote]

Refusing to give other people my brain space. When DH wants to be reminded about something, I tell him no and that he can set a calendar invite. Rejecting questions like "Did we remember everything" or "Are we ready to go?"-- he's really asking to be let off the hook for thinking it through. I tell him "figure it out and decide That yourself."  No more "royal we" suggestions from DH-- if he says "We should do x", I no longer implement it. Either he does, or it doesn't happen and I'm fine with that. When he can't find something, I don't help him.

With the kids, if they want something bad enough they can be the ones to remember it. Letting the kids experience the consequences of their forgetfulness.

I try to minimize what I bring out of the house with me. Everything you pack is something you have to track and remember. Less is better.

I did a big purge of household clutter and that's really great too. Visual clutter is really hard for me.

I do a lot better when I've exercised and slept enough, so those are priorities.[/quote]

I am so interested in this. I’m a little young for perimenopause but I have absolutely hit a wall this past year and just can’t carry the executive function of our entire family anymore. My husband is not diagnosed but I am roughly 99.99 percent sure he has ADHD and he would generally agree but won’t get tested.

I have been racking it up to burn out and some very significant stress for our family but maybe it’s hormones too. Interesting.

I will give him credit he’s gotten better about setting reminders on his phone and making lists (neither of which used to happen at all). My kids, including my 10 year old with ADHD have stepped up a little bit too. A big thing is to build checks into their routine. Now before shoes they check their book bag each day. That has helped more than you would think but absolutely had to be taught. I am trying to get them to do a few more chores, even if it means we basically do them together. Both kids can do a load of laundry and set the table. I know that’s not much but it’s actually progress. [/quote]

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