Reply to Friend was mean in person but still follows and likes my posts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My question is for you, OP: What goes through the mind of someone who is treated rudely but still keeps contact with that person on social media? Like what’s the thinking behind giving that person access to what’s going on in your life after they were disrespectful to you?

I can see being professional when I’m around them in person, but I’m baffled by the decision to continue to give them access to my life through social media. People who are rude or mean to me don’t get to know about my life, what I like, etc.  Can you shed some light on that? [/quote]

OP here. This is what goes through my mind:

- I don’t want to be friends with this person but if I unfriend her people will notice (we have mutual people) and it will cause drama. Either with her or via gossip, neither of which I want. Both of us are in public-facing roles in a small town.
- I will mute things so her stuff is no longer in my algorithm.
- My account is private and I only share personal thoughts in my “close friends” stories. Other than that, my posts are of my kids and my hikes in nature, books I’m reading. Nothing too personal that she could use for or against me.

PP are you unaware that an “unfriending” is a big deal for social media addicts? This is as close to the slow fade I can do without causing drama…[/quote]

You need to grow up enough to realize you ARE the drama, hunty. There's literally no problem in this dynamic save the one you've made, mostly in your own head.

You sound paranoid. Lay off the gummies.[/quote]

OP. I don’t do drugs. I think that is part of the problem, actually. The friend doesn’t like how serious I am. I am not in DC. They proceeded to make fun of me for being too serious and literally told me to do some drugs in this get together. [/quote]

Wait, is that the mean passive aggressive thing they did? That doesn't sound that bad. Any other details on how they treated you?[/quote]

Yes. They proceeded to make fun of me for taking classes in addition to work. The drugs they suggested were not SRIs, they meant like Molly. My work environment is very different than theirs and while I’d say I’m a serious professional I am not too serious in life. I do have a special needs kid and am a single mom. I don’t really care about the rest of this - I have other normal friends and don’t care about being thanked for the job… I’ve connected others before without expectations, other than civility. The thing I don’t get is why keep following my social if I’m such a bore? [/quote]

And rather than confront anyone about this minor nonevent, you stealth flounced (unfollowed) but lingered to "keep access" to this person who you now spend your time and energy trashing behind her back.

And you don't see that you're the drama.

Sweetie, your "normal friends" will occasionally say things that aren't intended to harm but still don't sit well with you. Rather than playing all these headgames, investing all this time and energy in microanalysis of minor (perceived) slights, and letting people you claim to not care about live rent free in your head like this, try something productive:

1) Practice letting go of dumb shite that doesn't actually impact you/your life, even if it temporarily pokes you in the feels. Drop the rock.
2) When you realize something has upset you beyond a forgettable minor incident, learn how to pull up your big kid pants and address the party you're in contact with directly instead of playing these messed up headgames of "muting" and then gossiping. 
[/quote]

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