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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents are generally kind people but growing up I often felt a dismissive attitude, like I had to be a certain way to accommodate and please everyone or else I was meant to feel annoying and bad.

Ds and dd both went to them for a week (abroad as part of a big trip, firs trip there without us in years), now ds is with friends elsewhere. He had a great time at my parents’. And now dd is spending more time there alone this summer and she is having the same exact experience I had growing up. My dad is especially bad around strangers and will put dd down to please them or to apologize for what he perceives as rude (like dd politely refusing to try a spread at a store), agreeing dd has a big accent when she speaks. I’m upset. I feel bad about her having this bad experience and it’s bringing back bad memories of my own teen years. My brother could do no wrong, now ds can do no wrong.[/quote]

[b]Refusing to try something is rude,[/b] I would apologize for that behavior as well. Teach your child some manners. If she has an accent there’s nothing wrong with saying so. I don’t understand your issue. [/quote]

Not at all. Everyone has a right of refusal. You do not make fun of or criticize someone's accent. You wouldn't like it if someone criticized you for those things.

Sounds like you're a very regressive, backward person. Drag yourself into the 21st century. Children deserve a sensitive approach just like adults.[/quote]

I think it’s fine to not try something you don’t want to try and to not be a constant people pleaser. But that’s sort of back to the issue which is sexism.  And yes, pointing out someone’s accent is very rude, it’s putting them down. I have an accent myself, work with people with accents and it would be completely rude to point it out.[/quote]

We don’t know what country DD is in and the rules of civility there. So no, we don’t know whether it is polite or impolite based on that culture.[/quote]
Saying “no, thank you” to something offered that you do not want is not impolite. Scrunching up your face and saying “ewww gross, no” is rude.[/quote]

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