Reply to Nurturing this friendship while honoring my time?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would have an honest conversation with the other mom. She needs to know that her combination of strict rules plus inattention to time is causing a hardship — it either needs to be one or the other (or ideally neither).

“Can you tell me more about why you’re reluctant to allow Larla and Darla to be at my house without an adult home, even temporarily. The reason I ask is that our family’s schedule — and especially mine — isn’t really set up to guarantee 100% constant supervision the way we did when the girls were little. Sometimes I need to run out for a quick errand. And sometimes I have plans immediately following Larla’s planned pickup time. If that time comes and goes and she’s still here, I feel like I have to choose between upsetting you by leaving them alone, or having to cancel my appointment at the last minute. Which can be both frustrating and expensive.”[/quote]

I wish everyone in my life communicated this directly. [/quote]

And I feel it’s very much appropriate to ask the mother directly in this case given the amount of time the girl spends at your home.

I wonder if this is just a “blanket rule” she hasn’t put much thought into (and also does not realize how it is inconveniencing you).

There are definitely instances where I don’t want my 14yo at a friend’s home unsupervised (parties or group gatherings where a parent will not be home, for example) and plenty of parents feel similarly.  Many parents are not fans of sleepovers as a rule. But for a short time at a (presumably trustworthy) best friend’s house, without good reason? Very unusual for this age.

Just ask.

[/quote]

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