Reply to I feel like a chump and I'm kind of mad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I get that it's FIL's hardship. He has his own side business and will remain busy with that. So it's not as if he didn't have a safety net. But yes, I understand that being laid off (sorry about the layer off earlier) is an emotional and often financial hardship (in this case, FIL will be able to devote 100% of his time to his business so no significant loss of income).

My anger is that FIL asked DH to lie to me. And he knows that DH would never do something against their wishes. So no, PP, DH would never have told me.

A few years ago, I quit my job before going back to school. Knowing his parents, I asked DH to not tell them until we could tell them together. He told his parents anyways, without me. That really made me mad. [b]To me, this is just an extension of the fact that his relationship with his parents comes before his with me.[/b] And his parents encourage that behavior.

I guess to me, it's not that I should have been told the truth. Its FIL's business to say what he wants to whomever. It's that they shouldn't cause a riff between me and DH by asking DH to lie to me. [/quote]

OP, I fear you might be correct, and that is a big, red flag. After the dust has settled from this particular incident, I think you need to have a calm discussion with your DH, in which you outline some of these examples (and the other examples I fear you might have) and say what you just said here, the you feel your DH puts his relationship with his parents before his relationship with you. It's not that you are asking him to sever ties, or some kind of "me or them" ultimatum. However, he is an adult now, not a child in their home. He has a life and a family with you now, and that needs to be his priority. [/quote]

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