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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There probably was a better way to ask  this question.
But it’s a fair question to ask how to processs grief of loss for a family member you are not longer close to.  I’ve been wondering that because I think my spouse will be surprised by how it hits him when his estranged mother dies.  I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum posting similar when they are estranged for their family of origen.  I would encourage your husband to try to rebuild the bonds with his sister now and be there for her — both because she may need him and also because he really may regret not doing that after she is gone.[/quote]

There is nothing you can do as a third party before the death occurs, I hope you and OP come to understand this.

I've seen my husband deal with the loss of his younger brother (brain tumor) and father (pneumonia). Even though his relationship with his bipolar father was distant and challenging, obviously it hit him. Deaths usually do! But there was nothing to be done before his father's passing. The emotional work came afterward, and not even immediately after, when we were all busy with funeral organization, etc. The work was done when everyone had gone home, gone back to work and school, and suddenly, he realized that his verbally abusive and unstable father still meant something to him, and that mourning was complicated by resentment.

The ghoulish anticipation of OP is very perturbing. She looks on this as some kind of entertainment created for her benefit, but cloaks it in pretend concern. I can see right through it.

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