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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Has anyone had an experience where the adoption did not work?  Adoption of siblings  took place 10 years ago. At the time DDs were 5 and 6. Fast forward to ages 15 & 16 and the older sibling is making life unbearable and unsafe. She has made it clear that she wants no part of the family. At 11 she declared that she was done with us and the running away began.  We have had contact with several doctors, counselors, therapists, and now police but nothing has helped. She has caused significant damage to the home, neighbor's homes and school. She has also become violent with her sibling and me. There is an 80 year old in the household as well and she is terrified. Any suggestions for next steps?[/quote]

I would hospitalize her ASAP as she is a danger to others. That is the words you should use.

Many, many years ago my doctor asked me if I was thinking about having children. I said that I really wanted to adopt. She said, AND I QUOTE "why would you do that? You have no idea the genetics and problems those children may or may not have. You're better off with your own genetics if you can." I know to most of you this sounds harsh however I know of too many situations like OP happening and this should be considered long and hard these days. Not saying most adoptions turn out like they because they probably don't but if you're the one that it doesn't what a difficult place to be.

I'm sorry op. You must be exhausted. I hope your kids get the help they need. Your heart was in the right place which is extra messed up that this is happening to you. Sending you hugs.

[/quote]

Looking back I'm thankful my kids don't have my genetics due to horrible health issues that I'd never want to pass on.  You can have kids with mental health issues that are bio and adopted.  You just hear more about the kids who were adopted but there are far more bio kids with mental health issues.  Mine have no mental health issues, good kids.[/quote]

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