Reply to Nervous about being a single parent

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Reply to "Nervous about being a single parent"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am someone who has been in the situation of needing to separate and ensure my children's safety.  I don't know why you think your children are not safe with their father, and I don't need you to tell me, but I am glad that you think that he will give you custody.

If you have immediate safety concerns (this was my situation), I would start by getting your children to someplace safe.  Whether that's a shelter, or a relative's home.

If you have time, I would suggest you start with three things.

1) Find a lawyer, and talk about how to secure 100% parenting time.  You may think he won't ask for any time, and that might be the best outcome, but if you leaving makes him angry he may ask out of spite.  Or he may realize he misses the kids, even if he doesn't engage now.  Or his family may pressure him.  So start with finding out what your odds are and what you can do to increase those odds.

2) Document all your financial information, and try to quietly set aside some money that you know you will be able to access if he cuts off access to accounts.

3) Think carefully about what he provides for your family.  The fact that you find it scary to be a single mom tells me that there is something he is providing, maybe income, or a role in routines like driving the kids to daycare, or whatever.  Think about what changes you would need to make to live without them.

Would you need a different home with a lower rent or mortgage payment?  Would you need childcare with longer hours?  Would you need a more flexible job?  Would you need to live near family, or hire a nanny?

Which of those steps could you take now?

Good luck and stay safe![/quote]

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